The House That Built Me

{3 more days}

Wishing everyone happy holidays and a safe trip HOME! 

I Make It Rain!

London's Forecast:

Cloudy with a chance of RAINBOW showers

I love the rain! So much so, that I decided to bring some inside! A friend once gave me a book of construction paper and told me to create what I love the most...

 I love the rain.

It may be time to start sleeping with an umbrella!

Bouncing Baby Jewsus

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

WARNING: The following content is NOT in any way intended to offend. This blog was created for humorous purposes only. If for any reason during the blog you feel the need to exit, please see your way to the X in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Dear "virgin" Mary,

Cut the BS and just admit you had an affair already. No ones buyin it.

Your skeptical husband, 

Joseph

Whos ready for Christmas?!!!

I AM!....I already wrote my letter to Santa! {See Here} Don't tell Moses!

L'Chaim Beezeys!

{Josh Groban- Believe}

I Hope You Dance

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

I hope your heart is always full,
and your tears come only from laughter.
I hope you have the determination to succeed,
and the will to stay humble.
I hope you find the courage to open your heart,
And the strength to heal it, shall it break.
I hope you have the wisdom to set aside pride,
And love ambitiously with no limits.
I hope you dream as big as your arms will stretch
and achieve the impossible.

 

{I Hope You Dance- Lee Ann Womack}

A Fleeting Image

Most of my life is a series of images.
They pass me by like towns on the highway.
But sometimes a moment stuns me as it happens.
Completely taking my breath away.
I know that this instant is more than just a fleeting image. 
I know that this moment, every part of it, I will remember forever.

These Are The Moments

Sometimes I wonder if I make the moments in my life,

or if its the moments in my life that make me

There is something so humbling about simplicity.

About just taking a moment to put life and responsibility aside to appreciate something small.

Happiness can come in many forms.
In the company of good friends, in doing something you love, in the feeling you get when you make someone else’s dreams come true,

or in a promise of hope renewed.

Sometimes you have to step outside the person you've been,

 and remember the person you were meant to be.

The person you want to be.

The person you are.

Deck the Halls

Jew on Aisle 2
{Wing. Wing. Slap. Kick. Kick. Drop it loww....}

For Halloween my {mormon} best friend (Blog Here) turned me into a magic jeWsus lovin christian.  After gallivanting via shopping cart through the christmas aisle at frys at 2am, I was feeling so spirted that I went home to personally write a letter to Mr. Claus himself..

Dear Santa or current resident,

You have been pre-approved for a Platinum Plus Credit Card from Chase Bank and Visa! And for a limited time only your credit transfers will carry a 0.0%* interest rate!

{* Interest rate is variable and increases to a daily compounding rate of 39.99%. Over the limit fees are $49. At any time, we may contact your bank, and switch all your money for SkyMiles on a soon-to-be out-of-business Airline of our choice.}

PS- Remember all those years you skipped over my house? Karmas a beezy! Let this be your notice. You're being audited. That igloo you live in at the North Pole may protect you from the cold, but not from US Tax laws.

Sugg on THAT fat man.

Shabbat Shalom,

Erika

Viewer Discretion is Advised

If you haven't had a chance to check out Natalie & I's newest blog yet...

You're grounded!

Ok, only kidding. But, before you get all antsy and run off to click the link.....

WARNING

Viewer discretion is advised:

Some materials may not be appropriate for the easily-offended.  Blog contains extreme sarcasm, Jewish/Mormon stereotypes (that only we are allowed to make..you throw slurs and you're toast; ours are done with love), fake cuss words, and opinions from two lawyers-in-the-making.  The creators insist you don't attempt any rhetorical stunt or activity done on this blog.

About the Blog

Shredicles of Gnarnia was developed by Arcave, Arcave & Associate, LLC (that would be us) during the wee insomniac hours of the morning whilst engaged in a very heartwarming chat on The Fbook.  Please note the capitalization implying a proper noun.  

This is a documented version of our love story.  Seeing as we have enough Wall-to-Franta stalkers on The Fbook, we figured we'd go global.  That's right, fbook lurkers, we are onto you.

Erika Franta and Natalie Wall met in Spring semester of 2009, sitting next to each other in the front row of "How To Be an Original Gangsta' 101"  {which is code for Political Ideologies}.  That is to say, we both discovered we were the biggest nerds in the class, and BOOM: insta-friendsthugs.  Straight up.

One day, during the boringfresh lectures on Karl Marx' fall of the proletariatSnoop Dogg, Erika peeped over to see Natalie doodling Burton logos all over her notes.  The gun was fired.  Cap was popped. Whatever you beezys say.  It was love.

After months and months of Sprinkles' fests, shred-sessions, life-slayings, and other thug-like behaviors, a little home-wrecker I like to call the Law School Admissions Test (LSAT) whored it's way into our lives.

8 months of studying logical fallacies, flaws, unstated assumptions and homing pigeons. Not to mention, the LSAT had a love-affair with moral values, heart disease, high cholesterol, and Latino minority artists.  So 8 months studying all of that, as well.

We're pretty much qualified physicians..and art critics. 

Alas, with World's Worst test under our belts, our love has once again been rekindled - and broadcasted to you via blogspace. 

OK, NOW you can click the link.....

{Lez do dis thang!}

Shredicles of Gnarnia

Ladies & Gentlemen, it's finally here!

The official Blog of Arcave, Arcave & Associates LLC

{The Shredicles of Gnarnia}

Stalk it, Love it. Kapeesh?

I've been sleeping in my favorite beanie, mittens and boarding socks.
Snow can't come soon enough!
Big Bear Mountain opens soon! Thank all heavenly supreme beings, gods and divine snow dieties.
A trip to Oregon with my best friend to board with our beloved, pro-shredding ginger, Darcy, is finally in order.
He is pretty amazing! Don't believe me?..
{See for yourself}


.....Told YA!

-Phoenix bound in 48 hours-

A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words

You ever look a picture of yourself, and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other peoples life have we been in, changed and inspired. Were we a part of someone's life when their dream came true or were we there when their dream died. Did we keep trying to get in? As if we were somehow destined to be there or did the shot take us by complete surprise.

Just think, you could be a big part of someone elses life, and not even know it.

{Photographs & Memories}

Crossroads



Be the change you wish to see in the world

{"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.”}



They say that the saddest thing a person may ever face is what might have been. But what if that same person was faced with what is? Or what may never be? Or what is no longer? There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. Afraid, confused, without a road map. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our lives. Of course, when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back. But once in a while, people push on to something better. Something found just beyond the pain of going it alone, and just beyond the bravery and courage it takes to let someone in, or to give someone a second chance. Something beyond the quiet persistence of a dream. Because it's only when you're tested that you truly discover who you are. And it's only when you're tested that you discover who you can be. The person you want to be does exist, somewhere on the other side of hard work and faith and belief. And beyond heartache and fear of what lies ahead.

ALWAYS push your boundaries,
and never settle for anything less than everything you deserve.

{Eet- Regina Specktor}

The Chronicles of Iceman & Maverick

 "You can be my wingman any time!"

{Take My Breath Away}

I feel like I've been anticipating this day for months (probably because I have).

Bradley flies into San Diego in approximately 10.34 hours.
I'm so excited that instead of sleeping I'm doing arithmetic to calculate exactly how long until he gets here. *Facepalm*
Being away from friends and family has hands down been the hardest and most heart wrenching part about being unable to keep my feet planted in any one place for too long. But every goodbye is a hello and the beginning of a beautiful memory.

I love not knowing where I'm going and am proud of where I've been.
Life doesn't come with a map or itinerary.
It is what you make of it, so make the best of it.

 I can't wait for my little piece of home to get here!

I am soooo beyond blessed. Sometimes I wonder what it is I did so right to deserve the best friends in the entire world.

Welcome to CaL-if-OrN-Ya, Maverick!

Arcave & Arcave

Exactly one week from today I will be in Phoenix with my best friend, {Natalie} 

Ze 'to-do list':

1. Recieve LSAT scores and blackout on fishbowl shirley temples

2. Paint in the woods (oils only; Watercolors are like tampons. If you bleed through, you're screwed) Oils trump all!

3. Roadtrip to the leaves for a canon lovin photoshoot. Suggit Nikon.

4. Dress to impress as unstated assumptions and flawed reasoning patterns for Hallow-oscar-mayer-weiner.

5. Bake us some good ole' frying pan kirspies (Madden, we're on to you dude)

6. Sprinkles Cupcake fieldtrip. (Dont eat the dots, they taste like cancer sticks)

7. Start our comic book...."The Shreddicles of Gnarnia"

8. Shop till we drop at AnthroApology to my bank account in advance.  

9. SEE HARRY POTTER!!!!! GRYFFINDOR & RAVENCLAW (Twilight < Potter)

10. Personally call every law school that will recieve our applications and justify to the dean of admissions why our LSAT wrong answers are really right. Hmmmph.

{7 Days)

Sort Of

"My Love's Too Big For You, My Love"

Trying to forget someone you love is like

trying to remember someone you never met.

How is it that, amist its' contradiction, both the most incredible and most afflictive of feelings a heart can experience have the same cause? 
 Love is just a journey of beautiful chaos.

{Sort Of- Ingrid Michaelson}

Illegal Immigra-cial Profiling

As I continue to see Arizona headline the front page of national newspapers,

my patience is tested. I'm a very opinionated person, but I don't mean for this to be a controversial blog by any means so please read with an open mind whilst I "vent."

Immigration is a Federal issue and should therefore be treated and handled as such.
Simple concept, right?....WRONG! (apparently) 

Handling a National/Federal issue at the state level is inevitably bound to cause turmoil. Police are not only ill-equipped and unqualified to handle illegal immigration, but it's NOT in their job discription!

Border patrol-Immigration officer. Different story.

These (dare I say ridiculous?) laws are clearly a result of frustration in the state over the difficulty of securing the border and stopping the flow of illegal immigration.  Immigration law enforcement is the purview of the federal government, NOT the states.

The policy itself is entirely flawed. I don't think there is any doubt that it invites unwarranted racial profiling. Quite simply, this law is a civil rights disaster and frankly, an insult to American values. No one in our country should be required to produce their “papers” on demand to prove their innocence. What kind of country are we becoming, people?  When Arizona Governor Jan Brewer (whom mind you could be deemed clinically retarded by a physician ) was asked what an undocumented immigrant looks like,

She responded:

“I do not know what an illegal immigrant looks like. I can tell you that I think there are people in Arizona who assume that they know what an illegal immigrant looks like."

(yep, true story...not makin this up folks.)

We all know what the outcome of all this uneducated double-talk will be/has been.

What a friggin Ill-diot.

The law is not only unconstitutional, it’s bad public policy and is going to interfere with effective policing in Arizona’s communities. NOW I read that lawmakers in other states are eager to replicate this ill-advised law!?

WHAT. THE. HAIL?!

 Arizona's frustration with current immigration policy is understandable, I'm not saying the problem is non-existent. But, this system must be remedied by our Congress, which should enact fair immigration reform. The federal government must craft a policy that repairs our broken immigration system and, at the same time, protects our most cherished values. States that attempt to follow Arizona’s example will only succeed in sowing fear, discord and intolerance in communities while undermining law enforcement and inviting costly constitutional challenges.

FRANTA FOR GOVERNOR!

{Posing undercover with Governor Jan Brewer at the Republican Party Awards Banquet Dinner. PUKE.}

Ps- Special thanks to Chris Fairbanks who physically restrained me from chucking my cutlery in Jan's general direction during her speech.
I hope I never have to experience jail. However, in this situation,
 it may have been worth it.
Issues, Erika. Issues.

Back off Society!

Society likes to set rules and guidelines upon us,

 that we, as members of society, are expected to follow.

These rules are what we like to call "norms"

They are intended to scare us into abiding them, for fear that the rest of society will reject us. But they are nothing more than folkways.

 Just informal rules whose violation is not offensive,

but merely expected to be followed.

  It does not invite any legal punishment or sanctions, but all too often reprimands.

Who is society to define what is appropriate or inappropriate?

Right or wrong?

Acceptable or unacceptable?

People continually strive to make an impression on other people

But, the only person you need to make an impression on, is you.

Screw society and all of its ridiculous, unwarranted norms

and misguided philosophies

 I think that there is great courage in being able to challenge conventional thinking,

to step outside of the box and make NEW customs.

Allow yourself to live in a world where it's ok to play flying ninjas in the family room and do cannonballs off the furniture....

  where a Mormon and a Jew can play together in a public fountain...

Where its acceptable for "adults" to act like kids in a candy shop.....

 dress as they wish and play with supersoakers....

Live in THAT world!

So back the &^%$ off homogenized society, these guns are loaded! 

The Secret to Life

{This Blog is Dedicated to Chelsea Papin}

{Stewbird}

I found the secret to life....

There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters,

who never did, and who always will...

Most friends are like the seasons, they always seem to come and go,

sometimes too soon and sometimes not soon enough.

This can be for many reasons, but mostly because all people inevitably change. They lose commonalites that they may have once shared.

Friendship is not an "official" legal or biological relationship,

like a spouse or parent.

It is entirely voluntary with no formal, binding obligations or responsibilities.

Friendship is not universally defined; it means something different to every individual. There are so many shades of closeness that we find it difficult to define.

We say, "my friend" whether referring to a colleague, minor acquaintance, someone we've just met, long lost school chum, next door neighbor,

a librarian, fellow student on campus, or the bagger at the grocery store......

......But there is nothing more soul-satisfying than a truly treasured friendship.

"I found out what the secret to life is--friends. Best friends." --Fried Green Tomatoes

{Rupert & Stew}

"The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Sun Will Come Out...

{TOMORROW}

To prove my sanity,

Allow my best friend and LSAT companion, Wally Wall, to explain to you, in the "simplest jargon she can summon", WHY the LSAT is awful:

1) It is incompletable to the average student. It is designed so that you inevitably run out of time without finishing. (Rude, I know)

2) Too often you can arguably justify putting A, B, C, D, or E as an answer. Well, that doesn't help eliminate anything..
3) You must analyze EVERY single word. "Should" might be switched with "could" in the following premise and welp..there goes your logic if you miss that.

4) If you were to ask me "what's the opposite of hot?" I would invariantly respond "cold". If the LSAT were to ask me that, I would be incorrect in my response. The answer is: "not hot". Assume anything more, and you're hosed. Sounds easy, yeah. But imagine a string of conditions lasting 8 paragraph-lines long, and having to keep that in mind for each premise, whilst simultaneously deducing the main point, method of argument or resolving a paradox.

Pure Nausea.

5) After testing 5 sections back-to-back (with a break between sections 3 and 4) they make you complete a writing sample. Which isn't even graded. Yeaaah way to suck up 35 MORE minutes of my life, whilst killing even more of my brain cells.

la Tête= Eggs de la Scram

6) They switch from percentages to numbers. Those. Beezys. Love. To. Do. This.

7) They discriminate against mechanical pencils. Initially, I was perturbed. I felt ousted and ostracized. I was THIS close to taking it up with the ACLU.. all hail the Civil Liberty Union!

.....and then we both fell head-over-heels in love with Ticonderogas <3

(insert sappy love song here)

Anyone considering law school and in need of books?..

I have way more than can be humanly healthy. So come get 'em!

Happy Friday!

The Break Up

{1 day}

Dear LSAT,

One more day until I can finally free myself of this unhealthy, controlling, borderline abusive, relationship you've had me enslaved in since March.

Although I must say, I'm going to miss falling asleep on your rock hard abs,

errr....I mean pages,

and our many romantic candlelight dinner dates.

For what its worth, I really did love you (occasionally),

 regardless of the numerous times I may have chucked you at the wall

to make you think otherwise.

Hows that for an unresolved paradox?

I'm sorry,  but I just can't take anymore of your flawed reasoning

 and unwarranted assumptions.

There's someone else......

His name is "The Bar"

Sincerely,

Erika

PS- Apologies in advance for totally kicking your ASSumption on saturday.

{the sacrificial lamb for saturday nights book burning ceremony, and this is only half of the collection}

Alveterzane formal logic. Hello law school!

God is in the Rain

I, like many people, have doubts.

I question just about everything and have been arguably called the most positively, irrevocably stubborn human being to ever grace this beautiful planet.

Don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer in faith...

although I confuse it not with religion.

I read the old testament once.

I butchered it with a highlighter and red ballpoint pen.

Annotating carefully; writing side notes, comments and explanations.

But more significantly, I asked questions....

I touched on the expected- who, what, when, where, how?

but mostly, I asked questions of 'why?'

I hate to say that at times I doubt God, or I doubt his existence.

But I sometimes find that I do.

I continue to search for a means which to organize my beliefs and define my values in a way that religion does for the rest of my community, but even when I cannot find faith in the spiritual world, I am learning to find faith in this world, 

 in MY world, through seeking.

I look for faith in the tangible, more concrete, things.

In experiences, relationships and in people.

Today though, I had a different experience

I went to the beach to watch the sunset, 

and the second I stepped out of my car it started to drizzle.

I'm not sure what came over me,

but I took off running out into the Pacific Ocean, fully clothed, and whispered,

"God is in the rain"

The second the words left my lips to meet the misty air, like magic, 

the sky let loose like nothing I've ever seen before. 

As if in attempts to quench the thirst of a thousand arid deserts.

I was undeniably speechless.

And after I spent a few moments trying to collectively decide what it was,

...this rare indescribable emotion I was feeling...

I cried...

right along with the rain.

I can have faith in that...

The Waiting Place

The Waiting Place, For People Just Waiting <3

I'm beginning to regret taking a year off of school.

I feel stuck.

 Like I'm frozen in a period of time that has been accidentally misplaced,

and lost somewhere between the past and the present.

I catch myself pacing and anxious all the time.

As if I'm waiting for something or someone.

Only, I don't know who or what it is that I'm waiting for.

Maybe it's something absolutely life changing...

Or, maybe I'm just absolutely losing my mind.

Oh the Places You'll Go.....

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles cross weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or the waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for the wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.