Bouncing Baby Jewsus

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

WARNING: The following content is NOT in any way intended to offend. This blog was created for humorous purposes only. If for any reason during the blog you feel the need to exit, please see your way to the X in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Dear "virgin" Mary,

Cut the BS and just admit you had an affair already. No ones buyin it.

Your skeptical husband, 

Joseph

Whos ready for Christmas?!!!

I AM!....I already wrote my letter to Santa! {See Here} Don't tell Moses!

L'Chaim Beezeys!

{Josh Groban- Believe}

I Hope You Dance

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

I hope your heart is always full,
and your tears come only from laughter.
I hope you have the determination to succeed,
and the will to stay humble.
I hope you find the courage to open your heart,
And the strength to heal it, shall it break.
I hope you have the wisdom to set aside pride,
And love ambitiously with no limits.
I hope you dream as big as your arms will stretch
and achieve the impossible.

 

{I Hope You Dance- Lee Ann Womack}

A Fleeting Image

Most of my life is a series of images.
They pass me by like towns on the highway.
But sometimes a moment stuns me as it happens.
Completely taking my breath away.
I know that this instant is more than just a fleeting image. 
I know that this moment, every part of it, I will remember forever.

These Are The Moments

Sometimes I wonder if I make the moments in my life,

or if its the moments in my life that make me

There is something so humbling about simplicity.

About just taking a moment to put life and responsibility aside to appreciate something small.

Happiness can come in many forms.
In the company of good friends, in doing something you love, in the feeling you get when you make someone else’s dreams come true,

or in a promise of hope renewed.

Sometimes you have to step outside the person you've been,

 and remember the person you were meant to be.

The person you want to be.

The person you are.

Deck the Halls

Jew on Aisle 2
{Wing. Wing. Slap. Kick. Kick. Drop it loww....}

For Halloween my {mormon} best friend (Blog Here) turned me into a magic jeWsus lovin christian.  After gallivanting via shopping cart through the christmas aisle at frys at 2am, I was feeling so spirted that I went home to personally write a letter to Mr. Claus himself..

Dear Santa or current resident,

You have been pre-approved for a Platinum Plus Credit Card from Chase Bank and Visa! And for a limited time only your credit transfers will carry a 0.0%* interest rate!

{* Interest rate is variable and increases to a daily compounding rate of 39.99%. Over the limit fees are $49. At any time, we may contact your bank, and switch all your money for SkyMiles on a soon-to-be out-of-business Airline of our choice.}

PS- Remember all those years you skipped over my house? Karmas a beezy! Let this be your notice. You're being audited. That igloo you live in at the North Pole may protect you from the cold, but not from US Tax laws.

Sugg on THAT fat man.

Shabbat Shalom,

Erika